Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Hiding Pregnancy From Your Boozy Friends

Two and a half years ago, I wrote a post (here) about trying to hide your pregnancy during a cocktail infused social situation. Over the past two and half years, I have had the experience of being that pregnant woman who tried to hide her business. I've also had the experience of witnessing pregnant women try to hide their business. I say "try" because, honestly, I've never seen it work. Not for me and not for anyone else.

So, I thought I'd go back over the methods that I listed back in June 2011 and see if I could provide some pointers now that I have actual experience under my formerly pregnant belt.

"I'm on Antibiotics"

Okay, I've never seen this one used, which may mean that it actually worked on me or that it's complicated, awkward and not a crowd favorite. There are two important considerations with this option. First, if you're sick enough to need antibiotics, why aren't you home in bed? Second is the details. What are you sick with and what kind of antibiotics are you taking and are you sure you're not suppose to drink on them? This one needs to be thoroughly thought out and you also have to be comfortable telling a full on lie.

"I'm not feeling well"

Please. You're not well enough to have a Mimosa but you're well enough to get up and out for a Sunday morning brunch? No one is buying it.

Enlist the Waiter/Bartender and Order a Drink Look-a-like

This is a popular method, but more complicated than one would think. Hence, I've seen it fail on multiple occasions. First, make sure the waiter charges you for a vodka soda even though he's only bringing you soda. When you're splitting the bill at the end of the night, a nosy friend is going to give you a shout out when your "cocktail" is listed as "seltzer" and it cost $2 instead of $8. Second, make sure that the waiter/bartender uses glassware that's intended for alcohol. If your gin and tonic comes in a pint glass instead of a high ball glass, your cover is blown. And make sure the bartender doesn't mark your non-alcoholic drink with a double straw or extra lemons or a handful of cherries.

Fake Drink

Some people are decent at it, but no one is great. Other than the fact that the level of wine in your glass doesn't go down, fake drinking is actually harder than you would think. Poor form can leave liquid dribbling down your chin. If this is your method of choice, I recommend a bottled beer - they're the easiest to not actually drink from and they are the hardest for someone to look at and determine how much liquid remains.

Partner Up With a Booze Bag

This method was not included in my original post and probably for good reason, it (too) doesn't work well. I say this having tried it myself. Here's the plan, you sit next to someone who knows that you're pregnant. You both order the same drink. You strategically place both of your drinks next to one another. Your booze bag partner alternates drinking from both of your glasses. Sounds like it has potential. For me, it failed miserably because my partner got wasted and pulled both of our glasses directly in front of him and double fisted. If you guessed that my partner was my husband, you'd be correct. We should have practiced.

House Party Fake Out

A commentor on the original post told a story of her friend who emptied out a bottle of Coors Light, filled it with water and drank water out of the bottle all night. Clever. I've also seen this one in action and only figured it out because I was already suspicious. Unfortunately, this is really a house party can't bring your bottle of beer to the bathroom with you at a restaurant and women tend to take group bathroom trips at bars.

I wonder if Kim Zolciak-Biermann fake drank wine during her first trimester?
(image source: Kim Zolciak Instagram)

What method did you use? Did it work? Did you ever catch anyone using one of the above methods? Any methods that I missed?

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

When is Drew Barrymore Due?

I guess Mondays are becoming tough post days for me. Sorry for giving you zilch yesterday. I have no one to blame but myself...and Matthew McConaughey...and Woody Harrelson. Who else has been watching True Detective? Wow. It gives me nightmares, but I'm addicted.

When is Drew Barrymore due? It feels like she's been pregnant forever. At least a year and a half.

According to E!Online, Drew just had her baby shower and Cameron Diaz attended (they're besties). This brings up another question: why do celebrity moms get a baby shower for every baby? The rule about baby showers is that you get one for your firstborn and that's it. No baby shower for your second born. The reasoning behind the rule is that you're gifted the essentials at your first round baby shower and you're expected to reuse those essentials for all subsequent rounds. You just don't need multiple infant bathtubs. The most annoying part of this blatant rule breaking by Drew and other famous folks is that they're the last people who need to be gifted more baby stuff. They're loaded and can buy all the baby stuff they need and they're always getting free stuff from brands begging for high profile publicity. I'm not suggesting that second born kiddos don't deserve some new, special items of their own. If Drew's aunt Myrtle (she doesn't actually have an aunt Myrtle) wants to knit a new baby blanket that's totally cool. But a full-on baby shower? I object.

Despite my original belief, this photos is not from Drew's baby shower. It's from an event she attended.
(image source)

One last question, according to the same E!Online article, Gwyneth Paltrow was also in attendance at Drew's illegal baby shower. Here's the question: since when are Drew and Gwyneth friendly? Right? Is Gwyneth just mixing up her circle of friends because her current social life is being impacted by her conscious uncoupling? I'm far off topic.

Happy Tuesday. And if you happen to know when Drew is due, I'd love to know.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Rainbow Toddler Bedroom

A while back I made a moodboard for a rainbow nursery. Thanks to Pinterest, I learned that people dig rainbow nurseries. Between the general population's interest and my current bedroom decorating project, I decided to update the rainbow theme from a nursery to a kid's bedroom. Below are some of the many beautiful items of inspiration that I found.

(image sources - below)

Where To Find Everything Above

Garima Dhawan Duvet Cover from Wayfair
Rainbow Raindrops Post Decal from The Land of Nod
All in One Music Toy from Pottery Barn Kids
Personalized Kid's Rainbow Bunting by Made By Eden Grace
Ferris Wheel Pillow by Janelle Tweed

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The New SSA Top 1,000 list is Coming...

Mother's Day is around the corner. For New Englanders like myself, winter just ended (last week), so this news is quite shocking. But, we're already a week into April and Mother's Day is May 11th this year. This means that the Social Security Administration will be posting the Top 1,000 names of 2013 on Friday, May 9th...a month away! Back in 2012, I learned from a savvy commentor that the SSA posts the prior year's most popular baby names on the Friday before Mother's Day.

In anticipation of this upcoming and major event, let's take a peak at last year's Top 1,000 names. I'm specifically interested in the least popular of the most popular. I'm here to make a few predictions on which of last year's less desirable names are on the move to more popular pastures.

Ladies First - Tess, Geraldine, Esme and Leona. These names fell somewhere between 900 and 1,000 and Tess barely made the list at all (though her cousin, Tessa, was up at 235). These slightly quirky, yet traditional names are right on trend. I'd like to see them rise in ranks and think they will. What I know will make big waves are Monroe and Everly. These names also fell into 900 and 1,000 range last year. But, thanks to their celeb association, I have no doubt that this is the very beginning of their rise.

The Cannon/Carey family, including Monroe and Morrocco.
(image source)

Everly Tatum - too cute.
(image source: Channing Tatum Facebook)

Gentlemen Next - Anders, Briggs and Foster. The last name as a first name trend started a while back with Harrison and Grayson. It has remained a naming trend for so long because it conjures strong, masculine names that feel classic. The added consideration to this trend, which is an added consideration to all name trends these days, is uniqueness. These three boy names fit the bill. And Bodhi. Definitely Bodhi. It's going to get much bigger thanks to Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox's new son.

What were all your friends naming their babies last year? 
What are your predictions for big movers and shakers on the SSA Top 1,000 list?

Monday, April 7, 2014

Sorry, No Post Today

My apologies - I don't have a post for you today. Not a real post, just this. It was a crazy, full weekend...much like the week it preceded...and I managed nothing by way of NSB. But, I'll be back tomorrow. I'm feeling a discussion of baby names. It's been too long.